Thinking...

It occurred to me today that one day -  very soon - 
we will no longer be a family of 3. 
(warning---I feel sappy...)

At some point I imagine my handsome hubby and I will have 'that' moment - 
you know the one where you just know you're supposed to head to the hospital.I imagine it as serene and hopefully not a mad dash -
although I am fully aware the risk in this hope. 
I imagine us sneaking in one last kiss and I love you to Ailey,
before Grandma comes to snag her and
before we pile into the car and head for the hospital to meet our 
newest member of the family.

As I type these words, I get a wee bit teary eyed, 
as the last 5 years have been filled with so much magic and love for our little
that I am not sure how I will love another baby 
with the same passion and affection.
But I have been told it comes naturally, 
so I am clinging to that notion with all my heart.

But I love being a mom....
I love being a mom in a way I never thought possible.

Each night when tucking Ailey in, 

we go through the ritual of hugs and kisses 

and then more hugs and kisses....

and as I turn the light off, 

I turn to blow a kiss her way and proclaim one last I Love You.  

As I shut her door there's always one last quiet 'I love you' 

that just seems to float through the door... 

it's the one I bury deep in my soul 

and carry with me.

These are the times I cherish...

And tonight as I closed her door, I thought to myself  

'soon there will be 2'

...2 x the kisses, 2 times the hugs, and 2 x the amount of love to go around....

and as I walked the flight of steps from her room to the living room, 

crawled onto the couch to find a comfortable postion for both baby and I, 

I gave the wee one a rub and whispered an I love you just for her too... 

I would swear I heard her whisper one back.

sigh.

So Today.... 

(wait for it...........)

today is the day I think I'm ready to really begin our new journey.

Our journey as a family of not three, 

but to that which we've only hoped, dreamed and prayed for 
in that soul aching sort of way 

you can only understand when you've truly been there.

And friends, we've been there.

So baby girl - you are welcome to come when you're ready.

I can't wait for our family to be together at last...